You Will Be Sorry
Hi, my name is Gabrielle. I’m really a very nice person, REALLY . If you knew me, you would want me to be your friend. But know this, if you do me wrong, I will be your worst enemy. I will get even and you will be sorry.
Just to illustrate, I’d like to tell you a story.
Living in acrid air that you can see, namely the Los Angeles basin, I decided to move to Sacramento. I needed about a month to prepare for my departure.
I had a pet bunny and he was so cute. I just love my bunny named Kevin. I played with him almost every day and as long as he would let me. I decided that taking Kevin with me to Sacramento would be too much and I wanted to find him a good home. I asked a man who I worked with named Andy if he would like a sweet little bunny for his children to play with.
Actually he wasn’t such a little bunny, he was pretty big. A huge ball of sweet fluffy fur.
So, after asking Andy if he would like to have my pet bunny for his children, he said “sure” quite enthusiastically..
Well damn his eyes because he took my pet bunny for the express purpose of butchering Kevin and having him for dinner. I wonder if his kids ever even saw Kevin other than on the dinner table.
About a week before my move to Sacramento, I asked Andy if I could drop by his house and say goodbye to Kevin and watch kids having fun with their new friend. Andy was not expecting me to say that. His head dropped and he got a very guilty look on his face. I asked him — you ate him didn’t you? He nodded yes and sheepishly said , “I’m sorry”. Before he walked away from me, I had one thing to say to him. I calmly said, “Just you wait. I will get even and I will make you sorry.”
He had the most terrified look on his face after I said that.
Every day, he would make a rediculiously circuitous trip through the office to avoid coming anywhere near me.
A few days later, Andy was coming through the office being almost carried by two other employees. He was in semi-shock and barely able to stand. He had a huge white towel wrapped around his right forearm and hand. The towel was soaked in blood and he was almost passing out.
His eyes looked terrified as the two guys helping him took him right past my desk. Andy looked at me on the way by the most unimaginable terrified look in his eyes
Andy worked on heavy machinery maintenance and his right hand and forearm were mangled in the machinery, simply because his sleeve wasn’t buttoned and his loose sleeve had caught in the machinery, which pulled in his hand and then his forearm and proceeded to mangle them. It was like a meatgrinder operating at full speed before a desperate employee could turn the machine off. Andy was in the hospital for a week fighting off infection and dealing with this ghost forearm and hand. There was no choice other than amputation. Andy had to have a prosthetic device.
I live in Sacramento now and the air is just a little bit better. My Los Angeles friends tell me that Andy is still convinced that I have the secret power to put a curse on someone if they make me angry. I’m not going to say anything but it’s silly to think that a mere human could have those types of powers. What do you think? And how about it ? Do you want to be my friend?
(by the way, this is a true story.)
