WHY SACRIFICE A VIRGIN ?
Won’t Resusci-Annie work as well.
Hi sweetie,
I call you that because I can’t remember your name. LOL.
Do you like this picture ?
These flappers are feeling very naughty toying with the Police man’s affection like that. I especially like the one to the cops immediate right.
The one with the slutty expression on her face. That one is probably my favorite because she’s obviously a very bad girl.I don’t know why but I really like bad girls.
Hey, I like you, does that mean you’re a bad girl. That is very hard to believe.
I don’t feel very good today. I feel like I’m in a tunnel. I think I’ll go have a big spoonful of honey black seed oil. I’m sure that won’t do a thing for me but it’s a good excuse to have some honey. It’s something abdominal because when I scrunch forward I can make it hurt and when I straightened up it no longer hurts so it’s probably just a great big gas fart bubble, and not a heart attack. In case you didn’t know, being a human is sometimes painful. But I kind of feel like I’m coming down with something. You know that shivery feeling.
It’s sort of like it was summer but now it’s not anymore. I know, I did a lot of complaining last summer.
“Oh the heat, I can’t take it anymore”. But now I’m kind of longing for some of that heat. I wasn’t ready for it to go away. Why does it have to go away before I’m ready. I was enjoying running around the house and just my tidy whitey’s and sitting in front of a fan all day long watching Western movies. But now, look what somebody did. Something is changing the weather and I think I’m going to have to sacrifice a virgin. I don’t want to do it because I’m not mad at virgins. But we have to bring back summer and it’s the only way I know how.
Hey it worked for our ancestors. Who are we to judge our ancestors and say that their practices were pure rubbish. That would be blasphemous
I wouldn’t even consider sweet little Reagan. No siree. Family members and anybody we know, are exempt from being sacrificial lambs. Why couldn’t we just use a Resusci-Annie. It would look legit to do that.
Well first of all we probably should try to figure out who it is that we’re actually trying to apease. Maybe we shouldn’t immediately go to removing someone’s heart without thinking it through.
My feet are kinda cold and I am a tad uncomfortable so how am I even supposed to think.
I’ve got it all figured out. The person that is changing the weather from warm to cold is Satan. It’s the only thing that makes sense. So what can I give to Satan so that he’ll release the warm weather back to us. I mean isn’t Satan responsible for everything hot on earth really. I mean think about where he lives. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure that one out.
So anyway, I am now firmly convinced that Satan is taking away our warm weather for a very good reason. He’s trying to get us ready for hell in stages. Stage I is when he gives us a long warm summer and gets us used to it so we kinda like it. And then he makes a cold so we miss the heat and we want the heat to return. Do you see the evil psychology that is afoot. He’s trying to do is undemonize hell .
Apparently Satan is a very kind gentleman and he wants to ease us into our roles in hell slowly. I’m on to him though. He’s just giving us a taste of cool weather so he can lower the boom again next summer. This move is designed to keep us confused and off of our game. By introducing cool weather he makes this kind of crave the warmth of summer. What he’s doing is making us crave the warmth of hell. Every year it gets hotter and hotter. If you look carefully at the last summer that we had it was way over 100° for 225 days. All of my candles melted. Now my box of birthday candles is just one huge candle with a monstrous wick.
I’m pretty sure the 2nd stage of getting ready for Hell is to move to Florida. I have a wonderful cousin that lives in Florida and she assures me that it’s terribly hot there and that I would never want to move there. Mandy would never lie to me. There was a movement to rename Florida something like New Hell. Yes I think that was it.
Anyway I really really digress.
So, what could Satan use that could convince us to give us summer back. Well, if I’m such a big shot running around looking for a virgin to sacrifice, what about me. Why does it all ways have to be a virgin. I was virgin once. I remember complaining to my pet dinosaur about me still being a virgin.
I don’t think anybody’s a virgin anymore. I think ladies are born “not virgins”. Mother Nature just said what’s the use? Just as soon as I make something nice they always go on break it. I give up.
I’m sure Satan has everything he could possibly want. The above photograph, is of Satan dressed up as a policeman and he obviously has girls dripping off of him. So how can it be more girls that he wants. He is having a very good time. Look at the evil expression on his face, and those poor innocent girls, -shucky darn . I’m sure it was an accident that the girl of the right of him, has a slutty look on her face. Why does Satan have to get all the good ones.
Well I don’t know what to do to get summer back. If anybody has any ideas don’t be bashful to say so. Until then I suppose I’m going to have to use my artificial hell — the furnace.
