WHO THE **** IS JIM YOUNG — ? — -?
You will never be the same, once you know.
Hi,
Thanks for stopping by. Call me Jim.
Some acquaintances, have me confused with the Chinese gentlemen named Say Foo. When I walked downtown several people see me just say my name –sayfoo. and then laugh among themselves. I’m glad just seeing me, cheers them up so much.
It looks like you’re curious about who I am.
Well, I’ll tell you but I should come with a warning label. I’m going to tell you who I am, but if you venture any further into my tangled web you cannot say that you were misguided or that you had no idea. You can sue me all you want for loss of consortium or whatever trumped up charges you can think of, and you can also try to bend a stone because you can’t get blood out of a turnip if you don’t have a pot to pee in. You can take it from me because I am a rocket surgeon. I would keep geese on my porch, however I am not Portuguese. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
I am like a vampire jumping spider, I want to hijack your mind and your spirit. This is how I do it. I write poetry. That’s my bait. Some folks wandering by might say — hey, this guy writes kinda good, for a chump !
Just as soon as I see that you're interested in my poetry, I jump on you like a jumping spider and wrap you up in a big hairy cobweb. I will force you to eat candy corn until you are pooping candy corn. Don’t ask me why I would behave this way. It’s almost Halloween any kind of weird behavior is okay on Halloween as long as you don’t have to call the cops, right? Kidnapping doesn’t count if it’s for a Halloween prank, right?
Of course you can have water to wash them down. I actually think that if you swallow candy corn whole, they come out exactly the same way as they went in, which is great if you can’t stand the flavor of candy corn. You would be my captive and I would be free to test that theory using you as my laboratory subject.hehehehe ha ha ha ha ho ho ho ho, who who who who who who . !
Truthfully here’s what I do. If you like what I wrote, then I like you. It’s as simple as that. You saw my “guts-out” poem or a story and you liked it. We are already communicating, and I don’t even know your name.
I once had a friend named Mike who had a bloodhound. Each time I went to visit my friend, his dog was so happy to see me, that he humped my leg. At the time, I thought it was hilarious. But apparently my subconscious mind absorbed the idea that this behavior was always necessary when you’re meeting someone new. That made it a part of my approach to everybody new that I like.
I may like you so much I want to hump your leg. Of course there are varying degrees of that you know. If you’re rather a new person to me, it might be just a slight gentle hump. But if I know you, it’s going to be worse. Have you ever been laying on the floor and been attacked by box full puppies and they’re all jumping all over you and licking your face all at the same time. That’s me. I’m like a box full puppies licking your face biting your ears and a bloodhound humping your leg all at the same time. And peeing, don’t forget the peeing. When you really like somebody, you can’t contain the peeing. It’s everywhere. So liking someone involves a lot of licking and saliva and peeing and laughing and rolling around on the floor. If you’re up for all that you can be my friend. Please let you me know if you’d like me in measured doses or all out, balls to the wall, what the hey.
Once you have had the full Jim Young experience, You will never be the same. As my friend, I will take you over and force you to write poetry to me and only me, And I will do the same to you. If you ever write poetry to another man, you will be banished from my eyes forever……………………
and…….. CUT !
