VAMPIRE PHOBIAS AND WIVE’S TAILS
# 7 — — — Letter from James Edward Young replying to Love.
Good morning love. I hope you slept well. If you splash a little warm water on your face, those chenille prints will go away. I was just thinking how cool it would be to be a vampire. But instead of biting girls on the neck, I would just kiss them on the neck and go to the blood bank for a pick me up.
I could never hurt a girl and if I see someone harm are a girl, I feel like I need to do something about that. So I won’t bite you if you’re girl and I could care less about biting a guy on the neck……barf……… yuck !
Yes, it feels like I would be an unusual vampire. I’m glad I said that because I just needed to get that off my chest. I thought you might have been wondering.
Yesterday when you wrote to me, you put in the letter, a musical video featuring Taiko drums by Eitetsu Hayashi, If I got that right. I have been to local Taiko drum concert which I’m sure is nothing compared to the video you sent me. A friend was playing at a local church and I was amazed.
I’m aware that this letter touches on being just a little bit silly, but I’m serious about this. I love Taiko and the feeling that it gives . However being there in person and feeling the drums into the marrow of your bones is wonderful and hypnotic and something everyone should experience at least once in person. If I had a chance to see these musicians in concert I would do “die does”. Did you know what they say in Australia when they are witness to something super duper groovy such as this drum concert ? If you’re in Australia and you are true blue, you yell at the top of your lungs , “NO WAY — -GET FUCKED — -FUCK OFF”. I am not kidding you because I’ve heard it at a Guns and Roses concert I attended on Colleen’s phone in Sidney…Everybody yells that in unison and to the beat to the music. If you’re a musician and they tell you to “fuck off” in Australia, you are “in” baby. You have arrived.
I wonder if that works for Aussie wedding ceremonies when two people really love each other they could yell those beautiful words at each other among their wedding vows.
Love, I have to tell you that I adore and look forward to our friendly competitions. You sent me something very classy. The Taiko drums were beautiful in both sound and image. The way everybody moved in unison and the sounds produced were beautifully hypnotic.Quite frankly I’m jealous that you have many illustrations of beautiful music. Every time you send me something like that, I go to old Amazon prime music and try to find it and make a playlist so I can just hit that button anytime and hear it. Every time I hit the button to play it again, I will think it’s special because you sent it.
I’ve searched my library for something equally classy but a slightly different genre. You could probably get up and dance to this, but I suggest you remain seated.
I say this. We have beautiful concert music played by great orchestras on Steinway keyboards, we have violin concertos played on a Stradivarius, we have beautiful Taiko music that is so unique and fascinating and takes years of practice to perfect. Hear me now and believe me later. Sophia here in this video was merely expressing herself as an artist. If she chooses to express her creative talent on or at an eager volunteer, which would probably be every man in the audience, then so be it. I can see it now, throngs of men fighting for a chance to get into her concert just for the opportunity to be christened into this magnificent new genre of music. Who are we to judge ?……. I don’t think people should be so judgmental or fussy. Singers bite the heads off of chickens on stage, they smash the guitars on stage, they set their guitars on fire on stage. Check out Jim Morrison and what he used to do on stage. I say, I like the way music is going. We need to see a lot more of artists expressing themselves like this. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to voice dictate text while you’re laughing your ass off.?
I say that Sophia is a true artist like van Gogh who cut his ear off. When you think about it Love, I think I beat you in the musical department. Sure, the Taiko drums are magnificent and awesome. You have to admit, Taiko is not new to the musical stage. Sophia, however, has broken the bonds of musical constraints and become a true musical maestro and a pioneer in the progression of music advancement. Oh my God, I think I’m going to pass out from trying to stifle my laughter and hide it from the microphone.
(Claire Franky-I’m getting even for all laughs you gave me. )
I think I should switch gears since I definitely won the music competition, Love.
I’m in this with some serious advice to all of the millions and millions of men reading this article for sage advice regarding dating. My father was an expert on attracting the eye and admiration of the opposite sex. One day I went to him and I said, Dad how can I get more dates? I’m having trouble getting girls to go out with me………He said, here’s what you do son. You get a potato and drop it in your pants and go to the beach and the women will be all over you like hyenas on a gut pile. So I did, I dropped the potato in my swimming trunks and went to the beach. When I got home, I told Dad that I struck out all day long as I showed him my attire. He said, that figures, you’re supposed to drop the potato in the front, not in the back. Don’t you think father should be clarifying things more to his son?
I know I talked a little bit naughty to you today. However I warned you. And I got a whole brand-new English teacher. My friend Claire Frankie can spit out creative naughty words that you’ve never heard before. I triple dog dare you to read things she wrote and I suggest wearing a depends so you don’t pee all over yourself laughing.
There sure is a lot of pee going on in this letter.I was just thinking that perhaps I should get serious. You know it is getting to be almost Christmas and I think I’d like to close this letter with a warm sentiment from my dear friend Steve Martin, a true human.
