Sometimes I think I don't want for anything. I have everything I truly need.. Why do I get up every morning at 2 o'clock and without any music or anything ,, I just start breaking down like a baby.. I can usually write today's attempt at poignancy when I'm like that.
Do you understand why I want to meet up with my ex-wife Crystal?. We were children when we broke up. It was the most earth shattering thing I've ever experienced in my life. I'd love to go back, not to reestablish a love connection. God knows I don't need to do that. I can't get her out of my head as it is. What you do with that kind of love? I just want to find out "why.." I certainly would not ever want to reestablish a love connection.. There's the tricky part right there.. If we were to meet face-to-face would I have any conviction or would I just surrender. There is such confusion over what went wrong.. You know, you don't just love one person in this world.. I'm so full of love for every relationship but I've been lucky enough to have.. I just need to find out why she cheated on me repeatedly. I thought she loved me and I'm not sure she Ever loved me
How could she do that?That's the hardest thing of the world to get out of my head and it's been so damn long since it happened... I started analyzing the reasons why our love relationship went wrong, I go crazy.. I don't think it's useless to do this. My thinking was so messed up I think the only way out of the pain that another person can do to us., Is to understand.
I never had a chance to grieve when we broke up originally. Better late than never.I'm sorry to bring this up right on the heels of the trouble you're having. Sometimes it helps to share our deepest feelings with another person..
I tried just putting it out of my mind for years, but that just made matters worse.. It's not a logical thing, but sometimes deep diving into the Ether is the only way to get answers.. Oh my gosh, I can feel the passion boiling up again.. No, we definitely do not love one person in this world. Not if were truly living our best lives.. Love is the most wonderful human experience, and it should be enjoyed and appreciated and protected endlessly.
