Oh Gen, I absolutely love the way you described what it feels like. There ARE tumultuous waves. They go on and on. It is a beautiful to love so deeply that it feels like it's breaking your soul. The strange thing is that is painful as it is, it's what makes us alive and human. I think we are extremely lucky to know love to that depth. So many people don't seem to get it. My feeling is that if you're going to have these feelings anyway, why not enjoy it and write about it. It's a wonderful rare bittersweet life experience that should not be seen as altogether negative.