My Cinnamon Girl
Have you ever heard the term-”Drive it like you stole it” ? What about, “Write it like no one’s going to read it” ? I made it up.
That’s a very freeing feeling. Sometimes, I concern myself with my use of bad words, or angry words but, I just have this feeling inside of me that, what I’m saying is important to me. If I use salty language or four letter words, think of it like spice added to a boring casserole.
Sometimes rough language might convince the reader how much feeling I am trying to convey in this piece.
What is my basic malfunction ??????????????
If I see a woman that I judge to be bad, which just comes from my gut, I am drawn to her like a magnet. What the fuck ? Do I want to settle down for the rest of my life with an evil woman, is that what I really want ?
I know that haircolor does not mean a thing. Or does it? OMG, all my life my mother tried to convince me that I should beware of red headed people.
She never told me why. Funny too because my brother bob has red in his hair and when he grew a beard, it was bright red. I thought she was joking but, could it be that she was right? Bob was a closet red head.
Why was I drawn to Michelle like a giant electromagnet and she was gorgeous Maserati. Was I deliciously rebelling against my mother ?
That wasn’t all that was going on inside of me. Michelle was my “type”.
It’s hard to describe when someone has that certain something. She was a bit like my ex in stature with just the right degree of attractive but not too attractive. What’s attractive to me is absolutely nothing you would think. Pretty people suck, enough said okay. ?
I just escaped from Crystal who I now nickname her “ Ilse Koch who was the Nazi “ Bitch of Buchenwald ”………If I told you how many different ways she fuckin broke my heart, honestly if the tables were turned, I wouldn’t believe you.
If you were in my shoes, you would know how crazy I was and still am .
But honestly, I feel this. All the best people are crazy…….. I want to group together with other crazy people. We can have a huge pity party and hope that the people that broke all of our collective hearts marry one another so they don’t screw up any more good people.
It was an epic day in my life when I met Michelle.
It had been forever since I touched woman. I was literally hornier then a three peckered billy goat which makes men get stupid as a fuckin’ box of rocks. It’s very hard to stifle that desire to jump on this creature, lick her all over and stake her out in the back yard . That’s what it’s like sometimes . Us men are just awful. Why not be honest although it might be offensive to some. I have heard it said that if women knew what was in our minds , they would never ever stop slapping us.
Maybe I nonchalantly walked up to her. Maybe I said “ Hi, my name is Jim what’s your name. That sounds like something I might’ve said. I’m sure the look on my face said — I love you, I need you, I want you with all my heart. Women are pretty good at picking up on those sort of vibrations without even a word being said.
I tried to arrange things so that we would meet and at least say “Hi” and flirt a little bit. She was so fucking exciting to me. I know what Mick Jagger means when he sings “She could make a grown man cry and a dead man come “ …………..I very definitely felt like I was falling in love or something . She gave me her phone number she asked me to be careful calling her because she had a husband. Talk about forbidden fruit. Maybe I could steal her away from her husband. I’ve never done that before.
The way I felt, I think I would’ve robbed a bank if she asked me to. If there was the least thought that we could be together and in love, I would do something that I know deep down inside was wrong.
Next comes a life altering experience illustrating the pain of temptation. I met her husband. I’ve had just been sweet talking this man’s wife and now I’ve got chills and the fear of death in my face.
Nothing gets your attention more than when you’re face-to-face with a woman that you love so much and, all of a sudden, her husband appears.
Talk about an adrenaline rush.
He reminded me of me. He had a crazy hurt look on his face and I could see instantly that he loved Michelle. She was doing to him what Crystal had been doing to me. Words didn’t need to be exchanged at all between him and I.
I knew the look and maybe he saw the same look in my own eyes. I wanted to give him a hug and say “Brother I know what it’s like, I’ve been there too, and I promise, I’ll never see her again.” Never mind that, we never exchange those words. He punched me so hard that he broke my rib and I felt like saying thank you, I really needed that to bring it back down to earth.
I still love Michelle and Crystal both even though they were cheaters. That wonderful feeling in life never goes away. In a way, they made me who I am today, a better version of myself. Judging a person by their hair color is ridiculous. It was started by jealousy I betcha !
