MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY
(learning from other’s misfortune)
Our society is so interesting. If we’ve got a nice sound roof over our head and a fire to keep us warm and with 3 hots and a cot, we are good to go. All we have to do is mind are peas and cues, bring home money and keep to ourselves.
It’s Christmas time and there’s a little kid inside of me that is so excited. I don’t want to wreck Christmas for the little kid inside of me or for the little kid inside of my wife. She’s more of a little kid than I am about Christmas. We like to try and find one really nice gift and then little things that are fun. I got her a leather coat that we can’t afford. All I want for Christmas is some peace in my mind.
My emotional state right now?
I’ve got a lump in my throat a mile wide.
I’m so distraught over the state of things for my friend. She’s given up her house and her car because of debt.
It doesn’t matter whose fault it was, it’s just demoralizing when society makes decisions for you because you’re no longer able to. It’s funny how some bad decisions can snowball.
I guess I’ve always been lucky because my bad decisions, — - well, I never lost my job, or my car or my house. But, there’s been plenty of times that I thank my lucky stars that I didn’t lose the things that I had because of my stupid decisions.
I wish I wasn’t so empathetic. Sometimes it’s a blessing to be able to see everything from others point of view. And sometimes it’s a curse because now I’m beginning to see what it must feel like to have no income, and to lose your car, your home, and the big one, your children. I know how poignant that must be as were entering the holidays. Just the idea of being homeless at Christmas time, is simply devastating. No hopes, no dreams, no future. Just a desperate search for something to eat, a place to sleep, maybe some drugs to dull the pain.
And now were going into the winter. She lives in snow country. What must it be like to be homeless as the days keep getting colder and colder.
My poor friend, to be so desperate. I can visualize the desperation in her eyes as she is trying to decide whether she even wants to live anymore. I simply can’t stop crying every time I think about it and to make matters worse, I can’t think of a thing to do because I can’t even communicate with her. The chills right now are going up and down my back and I feel the pain that she’s going to be feeling. She doesn’t want charity, and I could never afford to take care of myself and my wife and her too. all I can do is pray. I can’t even talk to her anymore because communication is essentially cut off. No, if you can avoid it, try to not be in empath at Christmas time. I just hope that I can stifle my sadness over my friend's plight.
I don’t think it’s selfish to try to enjoy Christmas and not think about things that I can’t help.
We are all a product of the decisions we make. Sometimes the right road is the hardest one to choose. I’ve never had a reason to grieve at Christmas time until now. Now, each day is a black cloud hanging over my head. I can’t shake it loose and it seems to only go away while I sleep or if I’m watching a really good movie or a very funny sitcom. The rest of the time there’s an undercurrent of sadness about my demeanor. Maybe I shouldn’t feel guilty that my friend is going to have a horrid Christmas.
She can hardly afford stamps and I’m feeling guilty for eating my dinner. All I can do is pray for my dear friend. I pray for her every day. I pray that now, Maybe she has truly bottomed out in her life, but she could see your way clear to escaping her demons by asking for and accepting help. Loving your fellow man isn’t always that easy if you truly love your fellow man.
I’m so afraid my friend is going to do something drastic. If any body has any advice for me, would you tell me of the comments. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind to be so emotionally involved in the lives of other people, and I wonder if I’m hurting myself.
Oh heavenly father, I pray you watch over my friend this winter. Amen.
