I LOVE YOU, — — — — — — ( BUT YOU ARE A HANDFUL )
# 51…………..A mischievous Penpal letter to Love from “El Brato “ (Jim)
From now on, I need a favor Love. Could you please print some sort of warning label on your poems.. I was ill prepared last night when I read the penpal letter that you wrote me last.
Namely, the mighty “Golden Letter” — -Which of course was the letter number 50 that you wrote to me.
I guess in your own way, you tried to warn me in advance. You suggested,
I ought to brace myself for the storm that was coming. But nonetheless, I was ill prepared and felt that your warning was not stern enough. Either that or, I didn’t even have the common sense to heed what you were trying to tell me.
Letter number 50 contained the most hilarious thing in the world. A Valentines day poem complete with art. I would put your poem here for everybody to read except I’m not dressed for the occasion. I don’t want to have another episode like what happened yesterday when I read this poem. I don’t want to go anywhere near it, because it is way too powerful. If anyone reading this letter doesn’t know what I’m talking about, read penpal letter number 50 and a poem called — “The Valentine Jingle”. I don’t mean to tell you your business but if you plan on reading it, trust me, you’re going to be needing to wear adult diapers — namely Depends. No Genevieve, I don’t keep things like that on hand. Why does everybody automatically think that. It is so insulting. (LOL)
I have no Depends in the house. I don’t think it’s right that you should be able to write things that make me have to go on to Amazon to order some Depends. .
Yes — that should be the law. You should be required to issue a warning label before anybody reads your hilarious poetry.
As I said before I was ill prepared when I started to read — “ THE VALENTINE JINGLE.
We should give you a new moniker –007- license to kill. Kill people with laughter. Let me tell you what happened to me when I read your letter number 50 — the Golden Penpal Letter.
I don’t want to go into any great detail about what happened to me as I was reading –The Valentine Jingle. Let me quote a magnificent author that I know and love, about what happened. That author is you and you said, and I quote :
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I hope you can stop by and spend some time reading our letters. I am not quite sure if our life stories are your cup of tea; however, I am sure you will bust out a giggle, fall to the floor and laugh out loud, fart, pee on yourself, have a stomachache from laughing or, like me, often cry with tears of joy.
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I always thought that you put those words there for their humorous value because every time I read those words I laughed. I had no idea that you are putting those words there is a warning. Perhaps you should’ve furthered your disclaimer because at this point you’ve left yourself open to lawsuits . I think I would’ve added the disclaimer that any medical bills incurred by reading anything in the Pinpal series is the sole responsibility of the reader. The author is not responsible for dry-cleaning bills for clothing.Nor is the author for hospital bills for anyone who may have “busted a gut “ from laughing too hard. The author is not responsible for carpet cleaning just because somebody read your work and couldn’t make it to the bathroom they were laughing so hard. That is not the responsibility of the author.
The reader must be warned to “read at your own risk”.
Wait, I have a better idea. You should warn readers that when they read the funny things that you wrote, they should do so while sitting down in the bathtub naked. That’s the same way that you should eat mangoes. Naked in the bathtub.
That way, all somebody has to do, is have their significant other turn on the shower head after they have finished reading your work. It would sort of be like hosing out the animal pin at the zoo. Much easier on the cleanup.
I know you’re not going to attach a warning label to your hilarious poetry. I’ve seen that evil look on your face. It’s the look of NIGYSOB .
Now, I know that you’re a very clever girl. You must have some dark humor inside of you. In case you don’t know, that’s an acronym for — — — — — -
“Now I’ve got you, you son of a bitch”.
I can’t help but think that when you wrote that hilarious Valentine’s Day poem, you had an idea the effect that it would have. I like the way you just dropped that bomb and then stood back to watch the aftermath..
Not too unlike a tsunami.
Well I’ll probably be spending the day mopping the floor and shampooing the carpet leading from the computer to the bathroom. THANK YOU VERY MUCH !
Joan told me that after witnessing my behavior yesterday, during and after reading the poem This, she went into shock.
She told me that in order to get the visual image of me, and my behavior, out of her head, that she would need to go slaughter a pig. She said that was the only thing that would erase the days events from her memory.
So I’m sorry to say Love, the bill for yesterday’s events that you caused with your poem-”The Valentine Jingle” is being tallied up.
Let’s see now laundry of clothing — soap $0.50 — electricity $0.10
Having the carpet clean again— $75
The life of one poor innocent little pig — priceless
I think you only $75.60 so pay up.
No warning label on your hilarious poetry. The very idea !
Of course you realize as well as the readers, that I’m having fun at your expense. It really was a very wonderful poem and it was so cute that I think it could actually be made into a children’s book. Thanks for the wonderful creative Valentine’s Day poem. It was thoroughly and sincerely enjoyable.
Can I switch gears — I like to close with something more serious that I found yesterday. I think it’s one of the most beautiful things that I’ve seen in a very long time. This had such an effect on me and I hope it does you too.
I have no idea what the word of the song say, but I can tell you this. Sometimes tears in your eyes burn so bad, you have to go stick your head under the faucet to rinse the tears away.
