I cried every tear that I have

A poem

Nathan Cowley/Pexels

I cried every tear that I have
so that again, I will never cry
I figured out who I am
you can’t hurt me, so don’t try.

I love the games you play
my mournful moments of ecstasy
if you didn’t lie to me carefully
my pretend truth is just fantasy

would you love only me
Or am I just a cover
or is it someone else
that never wanted others

Ecstasy and agony this
totally is such a high
I would not want to lose
a single moment in this life.

Am I chained to a wall
where passers strike a glancing blow
the strike that hurts the worst of all
is the last one that you throw.

I thought I put my heart on a shelf
but I’ve gotten honest with myself
God help me………
I would rather be abused by you
than loved by someone else.