Hi Jen

oh boy, it's New Year's Day and I don't have diddley squat to do.

I'm sorry but sometimes I talk like that. I don't mean to be offensive. I read your remarks

and I couldn't wait to discuss the things that you said.

Thank you for noticing that I have courage. You do so also. I'm in a unique position.

I don't know you very well however your aura says strong and centered woman.

Regardless of bipolar or whatever they said, I feel like whatever responses that our brain gives to trauma,

is so fascinating. I visualize my unusualness as a good thing. To me it feels like an exciting ride on a wild horse.

As long as the Wildhorse is just in your mind, you can write down some of the best lyrics ever.

I don't know the exact definition of my reactions, but I do know that one day I'm very happy and I can't write anything.

I'm always happy with that because I know the next day is going to be the downside of my bipolar.

I look forward to it because I seclude myself and listen to my favorite playlists and try to write poetry that resonates.

I cry so hard that sometimes it feels like my head is going to explode. They say crying is very good for you and it releases all kinds of endorphins.

I guess that makes me a drug addict because I do this every night. I'm in paradise when I can cry my ass off and write something poignant..

I was thrilled to read some of the things that you were saying. I want to talk about these things very badly. How we process emotions.

You say that you are sensitive to music. That's beautiful. Could you list 5 or 10 songs so I can see what songs make you sensitive ?

Her real name is Laura. The last time she disappeared she was in rehab. They shouldn't have released her, she wasn't ready. She wrote me a letter

and it was just insane. She's an intelligent person but the drugs are just scrambling her brain so badly. I have checked death records and jail records.

I know I shouldn't be so obsessed but I am and it's making me crazy. It's 2025 and I made up my mind that I'm not going to try to contact her anymore.

She's going to have to contact me. She was my muse. I still use her as my muse the things I write are not happy. Thank you for talking to me Jen.

You are a godsend. I really needed this.