Goodbye My Friend
Gordon Lightfoot passed away Monday. Once I tried to process that, I knew this was going to hurt and that this morning and I would feel angry and lost and sentimental and there will be tears — -lots of tears, just like yesterday. My friend died, a friend that I never knew personally. Once I felt that I was in a safe place, I did a lot of crying, if you only knew how much.. My friend died and I felt like a piece of me died also.. I don’t just listen to music, I live the music by internalizing beautiful pieces. Gordon had such a beautiful clear and unique voice and an amazing gift for writing lyrics. The song “ If You Could Read My Mind “ came from his heart. That’s the only way someone could write lyrics like that. Gordon represented a big piece of my life at a very turbulent time. I admit that Yesterday I was trying to wash dishes and broke down sobbing. I told my dear wife Joan, I’m okay. I have to work out Gordon’s death in my head. I’m gonna need today to get a hold of myself because, I got it bad today…(She understood)………….It’s two days later and I’m still grieving so I guess I’m going to just let it happen as long as it takes..
I haven’t heard any of Gordon’s music in decades. I actually have not listened to much of any music in recent years. When Covid started, I rediscovered music. Music used to be such an important part of my life and I couldn’t believe I turned my back on it for years. I couldn’t listen to emotional music and I can’t stand silly music.
Gordon was there for me during the worst part of my life. I got comfort in Gordon’s lyrics somehow . In my first marriage, when just a kid, I was so terribly torn, I actually considered suicide. A stupid permanent solution to a temporary problem. My turbulent romance with my ex lasted far too long. Years and years of my life being torn apart because we never really found each other.
When Gordon came out with the song , “If You Could Read My Mind” he wrote that from his heart and it came from his marriage that was heading for breakup, just like mine was. I was going crazy inside and somehow Gordon made me feel like we were sharing the experience. He was saying the words that I was feeling. It’s been 53 years since the song came out. So much emotion poured out of me over the last 3 days.
Your only fooling yourself if you think you can shove something painful down inside of you and forget about it. It’s going to come back someday and don’t be afraid to deal with it. Let it out and let it breathe. Let the sun shine on it. Gordon helped me one more time just like he did in the early 70s. He let me dredge up the painful memories of an old relationship and somehow, I’m getting some closure on that part of my life. I’m not hiding it like it used to. I’m ready to dredge up old emotions again anytime that my mind is in the mood to do that. I’m strong now and I can deal with it and I have no trouble showing tears for things that I feel strongly about. Tears are a natural pressure release valve if we allow them to be. I am a strong believer in Japanese crying therapy which such a valuable emotional healer.
Today, I’m going to honor you Gordon Lightfoot and your life and your music. I will thank you every time I hear and feel your music, I will remember how you helped me in the past and are still helping me today. You are worth all the emotions my dear valuable friend.
