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# 27…………………A penpal letter from James to Love
Good morning Genevieve.
I thought perhaps, that you’ve put on your animal skin and you’ve shouldered your mighty spear and you’re out on the tundra hunting your socks off. You’ve probably been crossing the frozen wasteland for two weeks walking into the Arctic Circle. You made boots out of your last musk ox kill. The thick fur is keeping your feet nice and warm. The musk ox meat has been salted and dried and provides the protein you need to take down the prey that you seek. A giant narwhal. The villagers will see you as a Godess when you’re spear is topped with a Narwhal horn. But you have no choice. You needed to bring that Narwhal back to the village to feed the elders and starving children. You remember the children lamenting as you left the village. Oh please please bring us back some Narwhal meat, whatever your name is — — Unh. Unh is a good name, a strong name. With a name like Unh, you should be a good hunter. If you could ever make a mighty narwhal topped spear, you should be able to take down the largest of all animals to feed the village. Keep in mind that they been bitching and complaining about having to choke down anymore woolly mammoth meat. Something about having to cough up fur balls.
I was thinking about writing something about my favorite bear — the Kodiak. Then I thought I had a check with you Genevieve. you probably have a whole herd of Kodiak bears that visit you on a regular basis. Wait a minute. Now I’ve seen your artist’s rendition of yourself with your rippling muscles and your sixpack. Don’t you think you want to have a nice domesticated Kodiak bear alongside of you as a companion. Anyway I gotta tell you it was damn fun to see you all ripped and shredded like that, damn girl.
I could violate all the laws of propriety. Off the top of my head, I think you are number 26 and it’s your turn to go. Oh I did 25 part A and B. It just dawned on me, you loading up your Howitzer with a double feature for me aren’t you. You’re fixing to rip me out a new one. Somehow, you have tricked me into showing my soft underbelly by accusing you of gold bricking. Now you’re preparing to fire off your 5000 word bunker buster.
I’m wise to your tricks. You are being quiet and you’re going to spring up a monster on me. It’s going to be a penpal letter will be so long the EPA will be knocking at your door because of the carbon footprint you are leaving behind. Just downloading a hard copy of what you’re about to send me is probably going to burn up my printer. I think I saw smoke and flames coming out of it on your last penpal letter. You know I’m just joking right?
yesterday, I didn’t want a dog you because I thought you were busy either with work or the next penpal letter. You actually had written a number 26 and you tagged me so that I would know, but an email never came to me. I checked yesterday many times and today and also spam and there’s nothing there I just happened to find the penpal letter that you wrote by going into your medium page. I discovered number 26 by accident while on an Easter egg hunt, wink wink.
I have to tell you something. I’m taking this class on Master class taught by Amanda Gorman. She is so terrific she said when you’re writing poetry that you should choose the music that goes with and inspires the subject that you’re writing about. That is exactly what I think you said you do with that beautiful playlist that you sent me. Amongst my playlists I have a Genevieve playlist. I definitely see what you mean about how music can lubricate your brain into being more creative. I’ve been trying to write to Lofi and I like it.
Amanda Gorman likes to write to Hans Zimmer. She says that Hans Zimmer doesn’t try to take over your mind and he has so many songs on various subjects that you can pick music that invigorates your writing on a particular subject. For instance you might write a poem about hurricanes and he might have music about hurricanes that would help you to write that.
Don’t you just love poetry writing techniques. I am so obsessed with writing poetry love. I wish I had this kind of drive when I was in school. Trouble is I didn’t care about any of those subjects. If I knew how much fun writing would be, I would’ve started this many moons ago. But I started it now Love and I’m having a ball and I’m not gonna quit. I push myself so hard every day, like I’m on a mission . Do you feel that too ?
I guess I’m sort of discussing writing technique in a laid-back fashion.
Now comes my favorite part of writing to you love. Namely, chatting with you about things mentioned in your letter number 26 to me..
You said — I have to let our audience know that you have unofficially promised to write me up to a maximum of three letters each day and that you wouldn’t exceed that — not.
Thank you love for saying “not”because I’m guilty of firing off multiple emails in hope they would all be gathered together and read all together at the end of the day.
you said, Christmas is a marketing scheme created by Macy’s.
My reply is no no no no no. Say it isn’t so. It’s all real, everything about Christmas is real none of it is made up. There is a Santa Claus ! ! !
And then you said — The last time you saw your 18-year-old son was on Christmas day, then he passed on January 5 –my Samsara.
My reply — I can only imagine your pain. Please know that as your friend, I want you to feel at ease talking about your son as well as your husband anytime ……….I am a supportive friend. Please know that I am always at hand 24 seven, I promise.
Okay — you suggested we come up with 2024 friendship resolutions. We can discuss them on email before we spring the resolutions on the public at large.
The next thing I said in my last letter to you was a lot of brokenhearted words about my first wife Crystal..
Your reply was beautiful. It was affirmation of letting go of the past and continuing to think positive thoughts.. For you to ask me of three things that I could list that I adored about Crystal was very emotional for me.
I did adore her. I adored her so much. It makes me cry to think of how much. I adored several things about Crystal. She was pretty, she was tiny ( picked her up all the time) and she was a great kisser. Those are not very good attributes because their transitory. I’m trying hard, but I can’t think of anything good to say about her. I’m going to continue working on this but all I have is a painful feeling.Loving a person and liking a person-not the same.
I hogged the stage and wrote a second letter number 25 which I called part B. That is so special that you sent me a poem for Christmas. I love that it was the first time you ever did that and it was the first time that I ever received anything like that. Thank you for that poem. It is so special to me, because you wrote it to me . I get quite emotional over sentiment.
Then you asked for my opinion of your absolute favorite song — Bluebird by Alexis French. It’s beautiful and every time I hear it it moves me so much I cry and I have no idea why. Maybe you can tell me. I often cry over beautiful things.
I read something today love. This thing I read describes exactly what I’m doing when I write about Crystal. I’m hoping I can desensitize myself eventually. This thing that I found online I consider my Rosetta Stone.
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You need to grieve the life you didn’t have, the love you didn’t get, the years lost, the way you treated yourself and others.
We don’t like to feel this way, so that’s why most people avoid it. They suppress it they disassociate, they will still stay frozen in their grief for years and they won’t even know it but it will show up in their lives as depression, stagnancy and disconnection from their emotions and relationships.
it’s some of the most difficult emotional work that a person can ever do but it’s the only way through because without that grieving without that letting go, the trauma stays with you it poisons your body, your mind and your spirit and it makes you keep reliving and re-creating the past as if it still present.. The only way out of this is by going into the emotions that were not safe for you to feel when the trauma happened.
If you can feel those emotions it’s a sign that you are already healing. You can’t heal what you don’t feel , has a profound truth in it. When we feel, we remember our souls again, We regain connection to life and all that is. When we grieve, we heal our hearts and our connection to God and every other living being.
Underneath all the healing others and use all feelings that you don’t want to feel is your aliveness, your vitality your laughter your love for life your love for others in your soul . Grieving is a soul retrieval where you dive into the darkness and recover the truth of who you are. Author is Laura Matsu