DARK CONFESSIONS
Do the lives of others matter?
I have guilt………….I didn’t want to do what I did, but I acted on emotion and now I’m ashamed of what I did. I lost my head and I panicked when I felt that I had no choice. I took several lives. I mean, those lives were snuffed out like a candle and all I’m left with is the guilt and their memory. I think as human beings, we still have a lot of primitive inside of us, but we have higher intellect and reason and I think sometimes we need to squash primitive tendencies .. It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s instinctive to fear and want to push away things that we don’t understand. Sometimes we violently take care of matters, if we feel threatened in any way. I’m sorry to say, I did that. But we are human beings and we are capable of higher thinking and it is not always wise to follow our primitive instincts and not thoroughly examine what we think we fear. Why would these aliens be a threat to me just because they are different and are we reverting to our primitive instincts if we were to try to reject or hurt them. Since they have done is no harm, I’m feeling tremendous guilt that I have literally taken the lives of several. I did that out of fear because I didn’t understand their ways or their agenda.
I was simply upset that my life was just fine before they decided to come upon the scene. Why couldn’t they just go back to where they came from so my life could go back to being the way it used to be. What I’ve done is weighing heavily on my conscience, but it’s not my fault because they made me do it .
How dare I play God and who’s to say that their lives are inferior to my life. What gives me the right to be judge, jury and executioner simply because I am uninformed about who they are and their ways. I was so wanting just a little bit of revenge for a perceived threat, so I took one to the side and spit on him. He squirmed as I held him down and “snicker snagged “ him. I think he went home and told his Mommy and Daddy that I spit on him, because the next day there were some angry relatives to deal with. I don’t know what they’re complaining about. I heard that Billy the Kid once shot a guy for snoring and all I did was spit on the little twerp. Parents are so fussy about that sort of thing. That kid’s parents and all his relatives were pretty mean an ugly looking when they showed up the next day.
Well I could see that I was going to have to dig in my heels and this was no time for weakness. Once you are on a roll, that is not the time to show your soft underbelly to your enemy and they must be considered your enemy
because this is now war.
I hate to say it but they all look the same. Not only that but they look like they needed a good bath because they were really dirty. They had crumbs all over their faces and they couldn’t even be bothered to wipe their food off.
I wish to tell you that I am extremely respectful of every life. I would even take a spider outside and set him free rather than squash him. But what I’ve had to go through is kind of ridiculous. Imagine my dismay when I’m brushing my teeth at the kitchen sink and perhaps I’m hunkering down on the counter relaxing into a trance while I vandalize my teeth. Then I discover that I’m literally laying on my problem of ants and 500 ants are checking me out as a possible food source. Now even when there are no ants on me at all, I feel their ghost-like presence until the next day.
I heard about a guy enjoying a piece of chocolate cake that he knew was on top of the refrigerator. He took the cake in the dark and it was covered with ants and he didn’t discover that until he had eaten half of it.
Nobody would want that to happen to me I hope. So, I hope I’m going to be forgiven by the gods for what I’ve done to those ants.
I sprinkled cinnamon all over the area where they were interested. I feel so guilty because the cinnamon poisons them.
They aren’t around anymore but my guilt is. All I can think about is those hundreds of lives that had to be snuffed out for no reason at all. But remember the old saying — all is fair in love and bugs.
