A QUARTER TO 2
Don’t you just love how the world smells when it’s raining. It’s best in the middle of the night when everyone’s asleep and thus, the activity of man. I like to open every door and window that I can.
Music is such a huge part of my life and I absolutely cannot help but to bring this into my writing. I’m not trying to borrow other people’s talent for what I write. I’m only saying that this is what inspires me. You don’t have to understand a thing about this complicated world to just “feel” and release all thoughts from your mind. I love to listen to Anne Murray because her voice takes me away. I just let the cool morning air wash over me and do everything I can to be in the moment.
I just hope and pray for the strength to write today. I mean physical strength because I have very limited use of both of my arms. My left arm is maybe 5% useful in my right arm is maybe 50% useful but with limitations regarding repetition and weight. I use an app called Dragon voice to text technology which is very good, but I still need to make corrections manually. In some areas, the Dragon will not work and that requires me to type my reaction to the work of people that I admire.
To save my arm strength, which doesn’t last very long each day, I sometimes ask people if they would like to converse on email but nobody takes me up on that. Dragon works so beautifully on email, but I don’t blame people for being suspicious. That’s one of the first things scammers do is ask for your email. If you want to talk on email, just let me know. I talk a lot once I get started. You have no idea how I love to talk. You don’t have to worry about what to say. I will start.
My wife gets up with me in the middle of the night and makes me a quick breakfast and goes back to bed. Before that, I start getting emotional on how she cares for me. Than, I advance to what would my life be like without her and I start to cry because I love her so .
She’s worried about me and my emotional health. I assure her everything is okay. I don’t have black thoughts. Just because you see me crying frequently, does not mean that I am unhappy. I feel very happy and lucky and sometimes it’s overwhelming. This is really hard to explain but I think you understand.
It’s typical for me to start being emotional while she’s fixing me breakfast but I try to hide it. She doesn’t understand and she’s a bit worried about me.
It’s typical for me to begin to get emotional at the same time as she is fixing my breakfast. Sometimes it seems like everything makes me emotional. I don’t ever consider it as a negative thing. I welcome intense emotion. If someone writes a poem that causes me to cry, that poem instantly becomes one of my favorites. If I went through the day listing all the things that make me emotional you might be surprised and you might even have a chuckle. I mostly start falling apart over other people and their lives. I can’t tell you how much I grieved for Sinead O’Connor and I still am.
If I need more, I can think about poor little Gabby Petito who still breaks my heart.
It’s the same with Jane. I couldn’t believe how quickly I fell in love with this beautiful girl and I mean beautiful inside and out. I fell in love with her one minute and the next minute she was gone. That was unfair. Me and a lot of others can’t let her go.
I grieve for strangers. I’m pretty worried about how I’m going to be when tragedy hits closer to home. It will hit extremely hard and there’s no doubt about that. I know I’m borrowing trouble but I’m scared for me because I know how hard I take things. Friendship can be a godsend when you’re falling apart.
I feel so lucky that I have several people to tell me that they enjoy my work. That means everything to me. You guys totally make my day and I can’t wait to answer you back about the things you say. Don’t let it bother you if I slip up and seem to be getting a tad personal with you, I’m sorry. It’s just that I feel like everybody is my friend and I already know you. I have no agenda other than to get to know you a little bit and maybe you will be my friend. I will close with my favorite inspirational song
